Monday, October 22, 2012

10 Film Scenes That Give Me the Heebie-Jeebies: Part I


What you are about to read contains frightening imagery, strong language, and material that is not suitable for sensitive individuals wiener heads.  My Life is a Science Experiment will not be held liable for any pee-pee accidents you may have as a result of reading this article and watching the supplemental, informational videos.  You have been warned, minions.

This list doesn't encompass my favorite horror movies of all time.  Nor is it made to feature films that are true classics of the horror genre.  What this article is is a condensed list of films I've seen that left a delightfully nauseating feeling inside of me.  These movies made me shudder, wince, grimace, leave the room, and/or peek behind sweaty fingertips.

** denotes spoilers.

10 Horror Film Scenes That Give Me the Heebie-Jeebies:
Part I

10. [REC.]

We'll start the list off with a film that I consider to be a foreign horror classic.  This Spanish film is about a late-night reporter and her camera crew who attempt to [rec]ord (see what I did there?) a piece about firefighters in Barcelona. Angela follows firemen into an apartment building where an elderly woman has been reported for actin' a'fool and eating people without even having the nerve to ask them first.  Without warning, everyone in the building is sealed in by the government to protect against spreading a mysterious virus.

What's wonderful about [REC] is its raw intensity.  You feel like you're trapped in the middle of a dark apartment complex lobby with some seriously nasty, rabid folks.  *When you realize that Angela's escape route takes her to the attic--the very place from which the infection was created--you kind of want to pull your teeth out.  At least, I wanted to.

Scariest Moment:  **Angela fumbles in the dark while being stalked by a slender, balding undead girl who probably hasn't eaten any flesh in months.

I'd be pissed, too, if my tits could fold into my armpits.

9. El Orfanato (The Orphanage)

Dead. Children.  That's really all you need to know about The Orphanage if you're wondering whether or not you'll be scared.  Orfanato takes us into the life of a couple who purchase a home that used to be (you guessed it) a creepy home for creepy children.  When their son disappears, ghosts of the previous tenants show up with messages from the other side.

This is why I don't have children.

The Orphanage isn't all about the cheap scare.  It builds tension and suspense with atmosphere and cinematography (camera shots from around the corners of sheds and basements and other rooms I'd probably just burn to the ground).

Scariest Moment:  There's a cute little game the children try to play with the new owner of the orphanage.  I don't know what it's called--probably something like "I'm F*cked, Aren't I?" but it goes a little something like this:  One person (in this case, the female lead) stands facing a wall and recites a phrase out loud. The others (our creepy, dead orphans) start stalking her from across the room.  When she's done with the chant, she whips around and sees how close the children are to her.


 I'm assuming whoever gets to you first wins the game by making you shit yourself and cry. 

8. Cabin Fever

As you can guess from the title, we have a cabin-in-the-woods scenario here.  Five young adults decide to travel to a cabin in a remote, forested area.  They have lots of sex and probably do lots of drugs and other unseemly young adult things.  But what unfolds is severely different than what you'd normally expect.  No serial killers.  No ghosts.  No demons.  Just a good 'ole skin-devouring infection that amplifies feelings of anger, dread, and paranoia.

Cabin Fever isn't a great film by any means, but it boasts some pretty damned disturbing scenes.  In fact, one of the scenes always makes featured "scariest" lists simply because so many people can identify with the horrors of shaving and hitting a snag along the way.  Pair that up with a flesh-eating virus and you have something truly terrifying.  Did I mention I saw this when I was 14?--You know, around the age that I was mastering the art of leg shaving?

Scariest Moment:  Watch, if you can stomach it.

The next time your husband complains about your prickly legs, show him this.

7. The Exorcist

I'm fairly certain that most people know what The Exorcist is about, so I'll keep this short and sweet for you.  The Exorcist focuses on a little girl who gets possessed by a demon that talks like a dirty sailor and enjoys stabbing itself in the crotch.  I've introduced a few cohorts to this movie.  Sometimes it lives up to the hype, and sometimes it doesn't.  Regardless, there's one scene that always gets to me (and anyone else who views it). 

Scariest Moment:  One day, I decided to get ballsy and watch the director's cut, which features little Reagan spider-walking down a flight of stairs.   Or on the ceiling.  Or something.   I can't remember.  I was a little traumatized, so I might have blacked it out.  This scene was so disturbing that it was cut from the film before reaching the big screen in 1973.  In fact, I didn't even watch it when I copied it over from Youtube for yous guys.  It creeps me out that much.  

Nope. Nope. Nope.

6. Arachnophobia

What happens when a newly-discovered species of spider from South America mates with a giant barn spider here in the U-S-of-A?  I'll tell you what happens.  Horrifying shit, that's what.  My version of Hell is reliving scenes from Arachnophobia over and over again.  The film isn't scary, per say.  There are hardly any scenes to make you jump or panic.  But there are plenty of scenes that make you want to pick your feet up off of the floor; scratch the back of your neck; double check your bag of popcorn; or burn your house down.

This isn't from the movie.  I just wanted to make sure you couldn't sleep tonight.

The cast is great (okay, well, like two people).  Jeff Daniels plays a big-city doctor new to a small town.  He just so happens to be terrified of spiders.  John Goodman plays an off-kilter exterminator whose one-liners will stay with me forever.

Scariest Moment:  A teenage girl takes a shower and encounters one of the poisonous offspring spiders.

Part II


  1. Arachnophobia is one of those movies that will stay with me forever. I literally can't put my hand under a lampshade to turn off a light anymore, because of the scene in that movie. I am absolutely terrified of spiders.

    1. I can't decide what scares me more: Asian ghost children or spiders. One of them poses an immediate threat, and the other usually has really terrifying hair in need of drastic conditioning.